the empress’s new clothes

A red tank top emblazoned with the word DANCE in rainbow glitter. Baby-blue track pants from the Limited Too that snap up the side. Pastel yellow sneakers for skateboarders, doodled all over with ballpoint-pen stars and hearts and Avril Lavigne lyrics. Beige corduroy bellbottoms. A tiered skirt that falls to mid-calf and soars when you… Continue reading the empress’s new clothes

Advertisements

rules of engagement

“Well, he said you're cute, but kind of... weird,” she tells me, sheepish. “Like, he said he looks over in class sometimes and you're, like... giggling to yourself?” I'm offended, briefly, before I think about myself in Developmental Psychology. It's more about babies than I had really bargained for, and either I'm bored and my… Continue reading rules of engagement

american idiot

"D'ya want [incomprehensible noise]?" "Um, I'm sorry, what?" "D'ya want [incomprehensible noise]?" "I'm--um--sorry, one more time?" "D'ya want [incomprehensible noise]?" "I... no. No, thanks."   I am in London, in a cafe on Charlotte Street, where I learn in short order that drip coffee is an American thing, and there is something else that I could… Continue reading american idiot

elf on the shelf

“Cutie!!!” I brace myself. She is coming. She comes every day at lunchtime, diving on me like a jackal on a rabbit. I hear her battle cry and know that it's only a matter of seconds until her arms close around me, lifting my defenseless body into the air and breathing her Lunchable breath into… Continue reading elf on the shelf

gunner

I signed up for a French class a couple weeks ago. It’s the first time I’ve set foot in a classroom since I graduated from college some three and a half (!) years ago. It’s entirely for fun—not for work, not even for a grade—and yet every time I enter the classroom, I feel myself… Continue reading gunner