and hopin’ and plannin’ and dreamin’

I still wish on spare eyelashes and when I catch the clock at 11:11, but I wish for the fortitude to accept what life throws at me instead of wishing for life to throw me really awesome things. This is less because I no longer believe in the power of eyelashes and digital readouts and…More

slacks do not a grownup make

I have been feeling very adult lately, what with all the slacks I’ve been wearing to interviews and rent checks I’ve been writing and glasses of craft beer I’ve been drinking in respectable establishments. I just wanted to take a moment to make sure that nobody thinks that I actually turned into a big girl…More

like so much cattle

I’ve gotten really into the idea of branding myself lately. No, not like the creepy albino monk in the Da Vinci Code. Like… hashtag Dana Cass problems, only on a grand global scale where I become a household name for witty posthip twentysomethings like myself. My life is an exercise in narcissism, so obviously that’s…More

“how would you apply to be a professional cover letter writer?”

To Whom It May Concern: My name is Dana Cass and I am writing to submit my resume for consideration for the cover letter writer position. I graduated from Vassar College in May and am eager to break into the cover letter writing industry. My educational background and six years’ experience in the workforce have…More

you’d be smarter, too…

…if you grew up navigating the clusterfuck that is the New York subway system. (Actually, I’m only pretending that it’s a clusterfuck. I think it’s actually a work of genius and it blows my mind that it not only functions but functions like 93% of the time and gets you anywhere except for the Lower…More

I H8 NY

It’s been 18 days since I put on my brown suede boots and boarded a plane, and I have come to a depressing conclusion: the city where I thought I’d see all my wildest dreams come true is, in fact, an overcrowded happiness vacuum where Southwestern kindness goes to die. Since it’s only been 18…More

an update from the couch

I’ve spent the majority of the past two days in my apartment on my couch waiting for various deliveries… the vast majority of which didn’t come, so fuck that noise. I left this morning to go to the Bed Bath and Beyond/Marshalls/TJ Maxx on 18th and 6th and had to powerwalk back because the Fed…More

if I can make it there

When I plugged in my MacBook just now and it said “Not Charging” even though it totally is supposed to be and it was just being lazy like it always is, I said to it, “Stop slacking. You can Not Charge in Vegas. You can’t Not Charge in New York.”More

cleaning out my closet

Mark my words — if I don’t stop myself while I’m ahead, I will end up on Hoarders in 30 years’ time. The contents of my closet include the following: a tap costume wrapped in three plastic bags to prevent it from vomiting glitter all over my closet (all of Nevada Ballet was covered in…More

only nerds like assigned seating

Today is the first day of classes at Vassar. I do feel a little strange and sentimental about it, but if we’re being honest, has the first day of school ever really been fun? Personally, I spent my first days of school every year in a constant state of anxiety and, um, having absolutely no…More