It’s been 18 days since I put on my brown suede boots and boarded a plane, and I have come to a depressing conclusion: the city where I thought I’d see all my wildest dreams come true is, in fact, an overcrowded happiness vacuum where Southwestern kindness goes to die. Since it’s only been 18…More


an update from the couch

I’ve spent the majority of the past two days in my apartment on my couch waiting for various deliveries… the vast majority of which didn’t come, so fuck that noise. I left this morning to go to the Bed Bath and Beyond/Marshalls/TJ Maxx on 18th and 6th and had to powerwalk back because the Fed…More

if I can make it there

When I plugged in my MacBook just now and it said “Not Charging” even though it totally is supposed to be and it was just being lazy like it always is, I said to it, “Stop slacking. You can Not Charge in Vegas. You can’t Not Charge in New York.”More

cleaning out my closet

Mark my words — if I don’t stop myself while I’m ahead, I will end up on Hoarders in 30 years’ time. The contents of my closet include the following: a tap costume wrapped in three plastic bags to prevent it from vomiting glitter all over my closet (all of Nevada Ballet was covered in…More

only nerds like assigned seating

Today is the first day of classes at Vassar. I do feel a little strange and sentimental about it, but if we’re being honest, has the first day of school ever really been fun? Personally, I spent my first days of school every year in a constant state of anxiety and, um, having absolutely no…More

a very potter history

We recent graduates of the Class of 2011 are the Potter generation: the series bookended our young adulthood and after growing up with it for ten years, we took it to college with us, throwing Potter-themed parties, reading the books for comfort when we were angsty over collegey things, and decorating our houses with cardboard…More

vassar boys (a heteronormative guide for lovers)

tl;dr version: if you’re looking for your MRS degree, you’ve chosen the wrong school. Vandy takes transfers, I’m sure! When I started at Vassar, my knowledge of college dating was based entirely on my sister’s experience at Georgetown. Britt started dating her boyfriend approximately five seconds into her freshman year in 2003. In March of…More

smart is a social construct

Welcome to Vassar! This is just like the scene at the beginning of Center Stage when Sandy Cohen tells the new ballerinas and Sergei that though they may have been the best dancers in Podunk, Nofreakingwhere, they aren’t fit to bring Cooper Nielsen cookies for next time here in New York. It’s like this: I…More

men and the women who love them

Types of men I am apparently, inexplicably, attracted to: occasionally effeminate yet decidedly straight graduates of all-male Catholic high schools the friends and roommates of men I have already been linked with my hotter housemate’s sloppy seconds those who make intelligent comments in class, no matter how much of a public scourge they are Type…More

“Can I buy you an orange juice?”

Last night, I took my friend (and schoolmate since 2004!) out for her 21st birthday. We went to Blush at Wynn, which is a lovely club with really exciting lights that flash in time to the music AND aren’t strobe lights. (Strobe lights at clubs, as I’ve learned over the six months since my 21st…More