like so much cattle

I’ve gotten really into the idea of branding myself lately. No, not like the creepy albino monk in the Da Vinci Code. Like… hashtag Dana Cass problems, only on a grand global scale where I become a household name for witty posthip twentysomethings like myself. My life is an exercise in narcissism, so obviously that’s…More

“how would you apply to be a professional cover letter writer?”

To Whom It May Concern: My name is Dana Cass and I am writing to submit my resume for consideration for the cover letter writer position. I graduated from Vassar College in May and am eager to break into the cover letter writing industry. My educational background and six years’ experience in the workforce have…More

you’d be smarter, too…

…if you grew up navigating the clusterfuck that is the New York subway system. (Actually, I’m only pretending that it’s a clusterfuck. I think it’s actually a work of genius and it blows my mind that it not only functions but functions like 93% of the time and gets you anywhere except for the Lower…More

I H8 NY

It’s been 18 days since I put on my brown suede boots and boarded a plane, and I have come to a depressing conclusion: the city where I thought I’d see all my wildest dreams come true is, in fact, an overcrowded happiness vacuum where Southwestern kindness goes to die. Since it’s only been 18…More

an update from the couch

I’ve spent the majority of the past two days in my apartment on my couch waiting for various deliveries… the vast majority of which didn’t come, so fuck that noise. I left this morning to go to the Bed Bath and Beyond/Marshalls/TJ Maxx on 18th and 6th and had to powerwalk back because the Fed…More

if I can make it there

When I plugged in my MacBook just now and it said “Not Charging” even though it totally is supposed to be and it was just being lazy like it always is, I said to it, “Stop slacking. You can Not Charge in Vegas. You can’t Not Charge in New York.”More

cleaning out my closet

Mark my words — if I don’t stop myself while I’m ahead, I will end up on Hoarders in 30 years’ time. The contents of my closet include the following: a tap costume wrapped in three plastic bags to prevent it from vomiting glitter all over my closet (all of Nevada Ballet was covered in…More

only nerds like assigned seating

Today is the first day of classes at Vassar. I do feel a little strange and sentimental about it, but if we’re being honest, has the first day of school ever really been fun? Personally, I spent my first days of school every year in a constant state of anxiety and, um, having absolutely no…More

a very potter history

We recent graduates of the Class of 2011 are the Potter generation: the series bookended our young adulthood and after growing up with it for ten years, we took it to college with us, throwing Potter-themed parties, reading the books for comfort when we were angsty over collegey things, and decorating our houses with cardboard…More

vassar boys (a heteronormative guide for lovers)

tl;dr version: if you’re looking for your MRS degree, you’ve chosen the wrong school. Vandy takes transfers, I’m sure! When I started at Vassar, my knowledge of college dating was based entirely on my sister’s experience at Georgetown. Britt started dating her boyfriend approximately five seconds into her freshman year in 2003. In March of…More